October 9, 2012 by Zee
If you haven’t gone to a clinic for a ‘well-visit’ or check up, don’t worry you’re not alone.
No one really goes for routine healthcare, or I can’t surmise so by my own visits.
Everyone waits in a communal CDC cesspool with t.v.s too far, too low and too insignificant to counteract the cacophony of sniffles, sneezes, coughs and cell phone fodder about rashes, and antibiotics.
If your appointment is at 10 you better be there when the line starts forming at 7 or 7:30 because the doors open at 8. And you better have your drama hat on because they only take the the 10 or 20 most dire cases.
‘Is my eye infection more or less compelling than this old lady’s hypertension acting up?…Hmmm, she could die at home alone if untreated, but I might end up blind!’ Let’s add a groan of uncomfort to seal the deal. (True story, it worked!!!! but I ended up with a mental health appointment slip as well).
No one inside a health clinic is moving at the speed of life. Everything is torturously slow getting in one line to wait for another. If receptionists had hedgefund bets on how long each patient waits, they’d be so rich they’d quit.
Getting back into the examining room and have my vitals taken, buys me some more time to sit awkwardly in a tissue gown on a parchment paper covered lab table.
Then a doctor comes in and asks me all the same questions the nurse just recorded.
Don’t let me have a question about something other than my infected eye, (what if I have herpes in my eye and i wonder if its in my vagina as well?*) I have to come back on another day for another fun field trip to the clinic!
I can get a pamplet from the lady behind the plateglass window about more permanent health care coverage, however, on my way out.
I can read it while I wait another hour for my penicilin prescription to be processed at the pharmacy 15 feet away.
*I don’t really have herpes, but its a legitimate hypothetical question!